The Wiles of Sirius Black
by The 4 Marauders
Summary: He encounters something he never thought he would: someone who could outwit and 'outcharm' the one and only Sirius Black... oneshot [Written for Marauders Summer Challenge dedicated to Evans by Prongs]


**A/n:** It's Prongsie again with Part B of my Summer Marauder Challenge Piece! The other Marauders -nudge- will also shortly have their piece posted too. So be excited. I know I am! Oh, and if you're wondering what our Summer Marauder Challenge was, we have it explained on our profile.

This little one-shot was written because I love our dear Sirius, (even though I'm Prongs…cruel irony, I tell ya) and I chose to write in Blaise's Mom as his love interest because she seems like a gal he would have been interested in. I looked in the sixth book and on the HP Lexicon to find her real name, but they don't mention it, so I made it up. Cheers!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He still didn't understand how he had been fooled. Perhaps it had been the way she had thrown herself at him and made him to believe that she had truly been interested in his charming and sophisticated allures. He hadn't caught on to her tricks and deceit until it was too late because well, it had all been too similar to his own machinations. She had been a little too cunning for his own good, and when all was said and done, he still thought he had had the upper hand and the wool successfully pulled over her eyes.

But he learned a good lesson.

Never let yourself be too caught up in your own devious plans so that you're blind to the possibility of another's equal deceit. But James had warned him many times, and Remus too had, many times, revealed his foolishness by undermining his genius.

He thought it was foolproof. But against an equal adversary he had thought to be mindless, his plans came to but naught, and for once he was the one sent running with his tail between his legs.

James Potter laughed so hard he doubled over, wiping tears from his eyes. His good friend Remus Lupin was also laughing hard, clutching his stomach as he leaned on the large red Gryffindor Common Room armchair for support. Their mutual best friend, Sirius Black, stood sullen and embarrassed beside them with his arms crossed, glaring at them from beneath his dark lashes.

"Sorry mate," James wheezed, "It's just too funny! We warned you so many times, but you were just too stubborn to listen."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"After so many false alarms before with other girls, did you really think I was going to listen to you guys this one time?

"No, but at least we tried to save you from being humiliated," reasoned Remus, chuckling.

"Whatever. I'll catch you guys later, _if _I ever come out of the dormitory again during this lifetime," Sirius grumbled, and then made his way slowly over to the dormitory stairs. He started to climb up the stairs, but when he reached the eighth step, the stairs gave way into a slide. He stumbled forwards and then slid backwards until he hit the foot of the stairs, fuming and embarrassed once again.

James and Remus burst into fresh fits of laughter.

"Wrong set of stairs there, mate! Already trying for a new conquest? Haw haw!"

Sirius stood up quickly and brushed himself off, stuck his nose in the air, and then gathered what pride he had left around him into a tight cocoon before heading to the correct set of dormitory stairs.

The fact of the matter was that he, Sirius Black, had been foiled in the execution of his dating/dumping his girl of the week. His usual dating cycle consisted of a pick-up line, a flashy smile, and a date; then three dates and two kisses later, she was gone. Or five dates later, if she was really special. But always, if he dated a girl and ended up disliking her in the least, he would try to give her as much of a humiliation in dumping her as he could. His best feat so far was when he dumped Henrietta Edgecombe by telling her that he just couldn't stand kissing her anymore because her breath was so bad. He confessed this to her in front of the whole Ravenclaw table, and she had gotten so upset that she ended up spilling hot porridge all over her new blouse and school robes. Chuckling to himself, he had quickly put on a straight face to gallantly help her clean off her robes with a quick spell, though it was only to keep up a gallant appearance.

Sirius sighed and opened the door to the cozy dorm room which he shared with his so-called best friends. He had had enough humiliation for one day to make him slightly upset at his friends for further ridiculing him in the Common Room.

Opening his trunk, he retrieved his pyjamas and then quickly undressed to put them on. He trudged over to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his hair before he climbed into his soft bed, mulling over the day's events in his mind. He thought about the past week as well, trying to sort out all that had happened, trying to remember when it had all gone wrong…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scarlet Zabini stood by the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room, waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. Her neat scarlet nails tapped impatiently on her thigh as she looked with annoyance at her stylish platinum watch, thoroughly irritated to find that her boyfriend was half an hour late. For the third time. Little did she know that he was standing in the shadows some feet away, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest, purposely biding his time.

Scarlet was certainly a prize for the conceited Sirius Black; with her dark, wavy hair, cobalt eyes and her bronze, exotic skin, one could get past her haughty, devious manner if only to be captivated by her beauty. Watching her from underneath his black locks, Sirius decided he might keep her for a bit longer if she continued to be the perfect companion -albeit her being in Slytherin. She was charming, gorgeous, and intelligent enough to captivate his attention whenever they were together. And of course, his only desire was to use her for his own appearance and esteem.

He was, at that point, blind to the fact that she was dating him for very similar reasons.

Deciding it was time to go meet her and halt her obvious irritation, he pushed himself off the wall and strode towards her attractive figure. When he reached her, he swept her hand into his, kissing it in one suave motion.

"My dear- have you been waiting long? I was just on my way when-"

Scarlet cut him off abruptly. "I don't want to hear it, Black. Just take me to Hogsmeade, like we arranged; and next time, be more punctual. I don't like to be kept waiting, and this is the third time you've done it."

"But-"

"I said I don't want to hear it. Now let's go before we're the only ones left in this whole darned castle."

Sirius resentfully noticed the use of his surname, but smiled graciously anyway. Flipping her hair, she took his arm when he silently offered it and walked swiftly beside him to the Main Entrance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opening his eyes, Sirius sat up. It was at that point, he realized, that she had slowly started to gain the upper hand. From that date on, she had begun to dominate their conversations, and started to dictate when and where their dates occurred. But he had been steadily blinded by her beauty and by his full belief in her true attentions to him. He didn't even have a plan of when or how he was going to dump her; but he knew in his mind he wouldn't humiliate her. She was a little too special.

They went on a total of eight dates and kissed a total of twelve star-popping times before that fateful day, that day when the wool was removed from his eyes, so lovingly and tauntingly by his slightly callous companion…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"But Sirius, why can't we just go to dinner? I'm tired of sneaking around afterwards to go pilfer food from the kitchens. I want to eat a proper dinner for once."

"Okay, Scarlet darling, but wouldn't you rather the privacy of the kitchens?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and put down his quill. Studying her resolute features and her down turned mouth, he sighed.

"Fine, we'll go to supper. But you have to promise me we can skip dinner tomorrow and-"

Scarlet reached out suddenly and put her hand on Sirius' hand.

"Of course, anything you say, my peach. Now let's go so we won't be late." Smiling brilliantly, Scarlet leapt up to take Sirius' arm. Stopping her, he pulled her into his arms for a tender kiss. Scarlet blushed, then turned her face away before he could kiss her again.

Straightening himself, Sirius grinned and then they swept out of the Library, and of course, Sirius didn't notice the smug look that sparked in Scarlet's eyes as they strode towards the Great Hall.

Upon reaching their destination, Scarlet waved at a group of her stuck-up Slytherin friends and headed in their direction. When they saw Sirius on her arm, their eyes held quick disdain before it changed to false acceptance.

A very pretty, but shrewd-looking girl greeted them.

"Hello, Scarlet! So you guys finally decided to come to dinner for once this week?"

Sirius blushed. Scarlet laughed condescendingly and dismissed them with a wave.

"I got tired of eating in the kitchens, so we decided to come down here." She glanced at a smug brunette, and a knowing look shone in the other girl's eyes. Sirius dismissed the look for a girl's thing and looked over to his friends at the Gryffindor table. James and Remus rolled their eyes at him, while Peter's face twinged with slight envy. James beckoned him to come sit with them; Sirius flashed them all a toothy grin and then focused his attentions back to Scarlet.

"Won't you eat with me at the Slytherin table, Sirius? I'd like it very much." Batting her eyelashes, she pursed her lips. Sirius shifted tensely as he answered,

"Well, I was thinking to go eat with James and Remus tonight, since I haven't spent too much time with them lately, and we'll eat together tomorrow night…" He trailed off.

Scarlet pouted and tossed her head. "But Sirius…." She traced a finger down his arm, gazing up at him.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry Scarlet, but I'd really like to eat with them tonight."

Her eyes flashed a fiery blue, and she tossed her hair again. Sirius blinked. He had found that rather irritating.

"Fine. But don't expect to see me afterwards. I'll be spending the night with my _own _friends. Right, ladies?" They nodded, and then all of them strode off towards the Slytherin table; but not before Scarlet gave a small glare towards Sirius. Shaking his head, he walked to his friends at the Gryffindor table and sat down beside James. He speared some roast chicken with a fork, then piled some potatoes and pasties on his plate. James nudged him.

"So, how was Scarylet tonight? She seemed pretty ticked when she left for the…other table."

"She was perfect, of course. She just likes to act angry sometimes to garner attention from me or her friends."

"Sure seemed like she was acting, alright." James smirked.

Sirius glared at him.

"Shut up."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scarlet nibbled on her food, and then glanced over at the Gryffindor table. Sirius seemed to be having a fun time with his idiotic friends, so she decided to execute her plan. The timing seemed just right.

Standing up, she whispered to her blonde friend, Gaila, then smoothed her robes and her hair. Confidently enough to attract attention, she walked over to the Gryffindor table until she was directly behind Sirius Black. She tapped him on the shoulder and placed her hands on her hips.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius was joking about how they could foul against the Slytherins in their next match without being noticed by Madame Hooch when he felt a sharp tap on his shoulder. He turned around, startled, and stared into Scarlet's face.

"Hey Scarlet, what do you wa-"

"Nothing from you, Sirius Black," she retorted sharply.

Sirius stared wide eyed at his girlfriend.

"Um, wha-"

"I just came to tell you I'm dumping you. Why, may you ask? Well, Sirius _darling_, I just can't keep dating someone who only dates girls to dump them; I decided to turn the tables on you before you got any ideas. Oh, and by the way, you kiss like a vacuum cleaner," she smirked at his indignant and shocked expression. "Good day, Mr. Black."

About to leave, she paused for one moment.

"Just one more thing, Black. I forgot something."

And with that, she picked up a steaming bowl of custard and emptied it on his head. Ignoring his cry of outrage, she smeared some potatoes on his face, and placed a whole entire roasted pig on his lap. Disgusted, he leapt out of his seat and hastily wiped the potatoes from his eyes, sputtering.

Scarlet smirked nastily, then turned on her heel to march towards her friends and the Slytherin table, who were all laughing uproariously. Sirius gaped and looked at his friends, who were also in hysterics, including the rest of the Great Hall and even some teachers. He wiped some more food of his face and mouth, scowling at his so-called pals. Then he too, turned on his heel.

Sirius Black stalked out of the Great Hall, humiliated.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Placing his arms behind his head, Sirius gazed at the canopy of his four-poster bed, then winced as he recalled those scalding and unfortunate events. Thinking of her blazing eyes and her haughty expression, he knew that she had dated him for the exact same reason as he had dated her, and she had always been planning to dump him in order to humiliate him. He realized that he got what was coming to him, and chuckled to himself.

Stretching, he decided to forget about what happened and thought to leave his wiles at rest for awhile; then he shook his head and donned a roguish smile.

"I'm glad to be rid of her," he thought. But it had been good while it lasted.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be a dear, and leave a review. I love 'em. They can be simple or 2384660 pages long, I don't care! Just no swearing, please.


End file.
